100 Random Things About Me

by , on
Dec 11, 2017

100 Random Things

1. My favorite colors are blue and green. I find them soothing.
2. I’ve watched Star Wars and Young Guns a couple of hundred times each
3. I could eat spaghetti and meatballs every day for the rest of my life
4. I really want to learn to play an instrument. I’m thinking the Congas.
5. I drove once. I think it was 1990 or 1991. A co-worker was teaching me. I almost crashed the car into the flag pole and John Marshall Sr. Highschool
6. I originally went into IS because I thought that was what obese nerds did. At least it was the only thing that interested me locally at the time
7. When I was much younger I wanted to get an engineering degree and then go to med school
8. I’ve lived in Europe for a time when I was a kid
9. I also lived in California for a time. I thought it was weird that the temperature was in the 70’s on Christmas Day.
10. I’ve had pets almost my entire life. Mostly cats, some goldfish. I now have 2 cats and three dogs.
11. I feel the most comfortable around people who have had difficult upbringings/lives
12. I’ve had a crippling lack of faith in myself since I could remember
13. Despite #11 I know that logically I can do anything I set my mind too.
14. At times I have difficulty dealing with people. This is very apparent in new situations….which seem to happen often
15. I crave adventure
16. For about 15 years or so I didn’t want any pictures taken of me. I was too ashamed
17. I now want to capture every moment to prove that I exist
18. Kids love me. I have no idea why.
19. I’m sarcastic. No, trust me. You’ve never seen that side of me. I hide it relatively well.
20. I’m ok with apologizing when I make a mistake
21. I like being a little cocky or boisterous. It makes me feel good. Don’t assume my well isn’t deep. You’ll get to see it if you take the time to know me….or just asl me a question.
22. My celebrity crushes are Sigourney Weaver, Mariska Hargitay, Jamie Lee Curtis and Gina Carano. What can I say, I love women who can kick a little butt.
23. I dig chick flicks ~ I’m keeping my man card
24. I don’t drink often. When I do it doesn’t take much to make me feel “happy”. I’m extra flirty after I have a couple of drinks
25. Tears for Fears is the greatest band ever
26. I don’t have a tattoo. I’ll probably never get one
27. Regarding #26, I love how a tattoo looks on a woman when it has some meaning and she knows what she wants.
28. I don’t follow directions very well
29. Usually I can just wing something. This led to me never really preparing for anything.
30. The thought of loose skin (really the surgery after wards) scares me
31. The thought of finally dating scares me more than anything else
32. I want a bunch of kids
33. I want to let my artistic side soar
34. I don’t like gory movies. “A Nightmare and Elm Street” and the “Friday the 13th” series are fine. The newer movies are just insane.
35. I miss New York City but I don’t think I would ever live their again. I could be wrong.
36. I love the web and technology
37. I’m not a bad writer
38. Didn’t enjoy unflavored coffee until November of 2011
39. Mary Poppins in the bomb
40. I miss playing with my Legos and toy soldiers
41. My first Teddy Bear’s name is Teddy. I still have him
42. I want to do everything (art, martial arts, dance, earn more degrees, travel, learn a few languages, etc., etc)
43. I drink far too much diet soda
44. I’m a romantic
45. I finally know what I want to do when I grow up. Just need to figure out a way to get there
46. I worked at Hardee’s for over 4 years
47. My sleeping habits are horrible (it’s now 2:13AM)
48. I miss event planning with a team
49. I went to Catholic School for 6 years
50. Raised Catholic.
51. The first non-bar musical performance I saw was Chris Botti in December of 2008.
52. I like mini-vans. They’re comfortable
53. Favorite TV shows are “Dexter”, “Battlestar Galactica”, and “The Walking Dead”
54. I’m a Scorpio and a Rat
55. I’ve had crushes but haven’t been in love. It’s just a concept to me. I hope that doesn’t affect future relationships too terribly much
56. I’ve been morbidly obese all my life
57. I used to let myself be full of wonder and excitement. I really want to let myself feel that way again.
58. I’m becoming obsessed with personal growth
59. I’m an Introvert with a relatively high social battery
60. I really want to go on Safari…the camera kind
61. I want to drive a race car
62. My memory is pretty great
63. I am genetically diverse……or a mutt
64. Studied Tae Kwon-o for a while
65. Studied gymnastics for a while
66. I love archery and shooting guns….both at paper targets
67. I overuse exclamation points and emoticons only because if O don’t people will think I’m upset.
68. I don’t have any piercings
69. I love a Tuxedo Hot Chocolate (ask Eleanor and Anna at Press Coffee and Tea Shop about it!) oops, Press is now Cafe Steam and neither of them work there anymore.
70. I’m mildly anal retentive
71. I’m a food addict
72. I’ve completed 2, 5K’s. This is back in 2012. Would love to do this again someday.
73. I did Crossfit for about a year. I was probably the heaviest Crossfitter on Earth.
74. When I lived in Holland I picked up Dutch, German and French but forgot English. I had to relearn English when I moved back to the United States.
75. My favorite video game of all time is Tron.
76. I’m great at starting things, but horrible and finishing them. I always get in my own way.
77. I tend to only see the forest, not the trees.
78. I’m well-intentioned but I over commit.
79. I’m trying to manage depression, anxiety and PTSD
80. I’d like to move to Washington or Oregon state someday
81. I remember being more empathetic long ago. I’d like to recapture some of that
82. I’m a worrier
83. I love cooking for friends but couldn’t do it for the public
84. I’m a day dreamer
85. My knees and lower back are a wreck
86. I used to love reading comic books
87. The only bones I’ve broken are a couple of ribs
88. I enjoy karaoke.
89. I have sleep apnea
90. Patience is not a virtue I possess. At least not for myself. I have plenty for others
91. Criminals fascinate me
92. I want my parents to be able to see my transformation
93. I’d like to shave my head once just to give it a try
94. I need to get better at thinking things through
95. I think Black & White pictures are the bomb
96. At this moment I’m craving a Cuban Sandwich
97. I worked at Charter Communications for almost 5 years
98. I want to explore my inner warrior poet
99. I never enjoyed math before. I do now.
100. I have fairly good (and expensive) taste

I Will … Promises To Myself

by , on
Dec 11, 2017

I Will

  1. Change old patterns and behaviors that are hurting me
  2. Adopt new patterns and behaviors that benefit me
  3. Have a windfall of positive abundance in every area of my life
  4. Create the foundational changes that I need
  5. Healthy so I can teach the kids and have some of my own
  6. Bring out the greatness that lies within me
  7. Be the change I want to see in the world
  8. Be the beacon, the symbol of hope for others
  9. Change my community for the better
  10. Develop laser-sharp focus and concentration
  11. Become efficient
  12. Become a better person
  13. Move outside of my comfort zone so I can make the magic happen
  14. Be confident

What Am I Thankful For? Yes, seriously.

by , on
Dec 11, 2017

What Am I Thankful For?

Even though I have a bunch of issues I need to sort out and overcome, there are many things for which I’m thankful for:

  1. As cheesy as it sounds I’m grateful to be alive. I mean really, I weigh over 500 pounds and I have for 17 years. There aren’t many people like me out there.
  2. Despite a host of mechanical issues (knees, back, range of motion, general mobility), I’m somewhat healthy. My blood-work is almost perfect (iron is a smidgen low).
  3. I don’t have to use a scooter or crutches
  4. I own my own house (well the bank owns it for now)
  5. I make enough money where I can socialize with friends a little
  6. I’m a fairly good networker
  7. I have friends that will help me work towards my goals
  8. I’m fairly smart
  9. I’m grateful that I have a job in these economic times.
  10. That I have access to physical and mental health specialists
  11. Despite the ridiculous cost of my education I’m, grateful for my degrees. They still open some doors for me
  12. I’m grateful for social media. It’s allowed me to connect to many, many people
  13. I’m grateful for my writing ability
  14. I’m grateful for leadership ability
  15. I’m grateful for my entrepreneurial spirit
  16. I’m grateful for pretty, dark-haired women
  17. I’m grateful for winter. It makes me appreciate the other seasons more.
  18. I’m grateful for all the arts. They bring happiness to my soul.
  19. I’m grateful for all my pets. Without those neurotic little nutjobs my life would not be the same
  20. I’m thankful that I haven’t slipped and fallen in years
  21. I’m thankful that despite my issues, I still have a world of opportunity ahead of me
  22. I’m thankful for a few close friends
  23. I’m thankful for a roof over my head, and a furnace and water heater that work
  24. Having the time to spend with friends is something I am very grateful for
  25. I am thankful for my parents
  26. I’m grateful there are still people who still believe in me
  27. I’m grateful for Planet Fitness
  28. I’m grateful I have enough clothes to last for awhile.
  29. I’m grateful I’m a decent cook
  30. I’m grateful that I’m rediscovering my creative and fun side
  31. I’m grateful for a pretty good memory
  32. I’m grateful I’ve found the ability to say “No”
  33. I’m grateful that I have begun to find value in myself
  34. I’m grateful for depression therapy
  35. I’m grateful I’m developing as a person
  36. I’m grateful to be a teacher

Overarching Goals

by , on
Dec 11, 2017

Major Goals

  1. Become an incredibly fit 200 pound athlete competing in road races
  2. Lead an active lifestyle
  3. Achieve professional and financial success
  4. Learn Spanish
  5. Develop richer relationships
  6. Loving & stable marriage with 3 – 4 kids
  7. Enjoy a nice quality of life
  8. Make a positive impact on many lives
  9. Travel
  10. Start and run a non-profit

Tuesday, 4/5/2016 – What to do? Life Choices to be Made

by , on
Apr 6, 2016

I’ve been absent from the blog for a couple of weeks. Between being under the weather for most of it and trying to shake off some apathy, I’ve had a hard time getting much of anything done. March 23rd and 24th I did keep myself busy, but after that…nothing.

Today as I was lying in bed I thought to myself, “Holy Crap,  it’s already the first week of April.” Honestly where the hell has all the time gone? I’ve been a member of Planet Fitness since September eat I haven’t lost any weight (I’ve probably only gone 8 times), I’ve been subbing (I’m a licensed teacher!) since October but have only maximized it (thus being able to save) in February and I have almost no hours in for March. I’ve had Rosetta Stone for over a year but haven’t even started lesson 1. And I’ve had a Lynda account for about a year but haven’t gotten into anything too “juicy”

I’ve got some work to do. Travis was right, I can’t psych myself out. I need to just do it. So what can I do in the next 4.5 months until I travel back to NYC

  • Lose 150 pounds
  • Read 30 books
  • Complete concept models for Social Bridging & Med City
  • Learn spanish
  • Blog consistently
  • Organize Google Drive, Drop Box, Home Office
  • Secure a full-time teaching job
  • Complete SWOT analysis of groups on social bridging list

The last few projects have failed. It was a severe lack of planning. But right now, I’m also afraid everything I do will be a failure. I’m a afraid to even start. I really need to start. And I will.i expect to get everything done at once. Logically I know that, but it hasn’t sunk in yet. M goals, especially fitness, social bridging and med city social media can all be started (although limited) before I have all my ducks in a row. With m way of thinking I’ll never have all the ducks in a row.

I’m going to have to make some serious lifestyle choices if I want to accomplish anything.

3/19/2016: It’s Snowing Again, Forgiveness and Work

by , on
Mar 19, 2016

When I walked outside of the house I noticed one peculiar little thing. It was snowing! There was already some significant accumulation on the ground and flakes were still aggressively floating to the ground. I sighed. I was hoping that Mother Nature would have settled down but no such luck.

I’m a little groggier entering the classroom today than I was yesterday. But I soon become filled with happiness a the class commences. Today, was again filled with incredible talks and discussions. We learned about forgiveness. It’s a great concept. The 17 minutes of meditation we got both days helped us all get refreshed and refocused. I’m going to incorporate this into my daily life.

Class ended at 3:45pm. I thought I’d have time to go home and get some sleep before going to work at 11pm. Well, I found out I have to work at 5pm to 3am. Yes, I was shocked and dismayed. A little bit of me died on the inside at the thought of not getting any rest, but I persevered.

The meditation over the past two days really did help.

By the time I exited the DAHLC all the snow was gone. Now that I can excited about.

I want to create a course for the schools around resiliency, starting with meditation. I’m in a good position to do so. I’m going to have to adapt it though and strip out anything which may be interpreted as religious.

3/18/2016: Chilly Temps, Rain and Nueroscience

by , on
Mar 19, 2016

Last week the temperature was in the 60’s. Today (and for the next week) the temp is in the mid to low 30’s. Yeah, super fun. It’s to be expected this time of year, but geez Louise, I want Spring!

Today was the first of two days of Dr. Amit Sood’s Transform class. I’m really excited about the program. All of it will help me become better at what I need to do for social bridging. The class runs from 8am to 5pm. I arrive at the Dan Abraham Healthy Living Center at proceed to the 6th floor where the class is located. I can’t describe how nice the whole place is. It’s flippin’ gorgeous, soothing and pretty comfortable. I could get used to being in this environment.

My classmates are an eclectic bunch of people from across the US and Canada representing a variety of professions and stages of life. There’s even one 1st generation Dutch-Canadian in the group. We learned about neuroscience, and a high-level overview of the brain operates. Fascinating stuff.

The class ended early at 3:30pm. This gave me time to spend about an hour on the 7th floor atrium which is the entire floor. I stepped outside onto the patio for a bit before retreating to the inside where I sat on in a really comfy lounge chair next to a plant wall.

I then went home to do stuff and things.

3/17/2016: Discussing a Youth Service Project

by , on
Mar 18, 2016

At 10:30 I had a meeting with Joyce Balls-Berry at Bravo Espresso. Before she arrived I had a bowl of delicious wild rice soup from Salad Brothers. It’s been awhile since I’ve had their soup. It gets better everytime. Either that or I’m a little delusional. I’m ok either way.

When Joyce arrived we caught each other up on our goings on. We soon dived into discussion about the non-profit I want I start around ACE’s. We discussed possible programming, resources, partners and our legal structure. Are we just going to be a non-profit or will we be tied to a for-profit. Will the for profit be an LLC or an “S” Corp. What about social enterprise run by the non-profit? There’s a lot of research that needs to be done to answer these questions.

Joy asked a really great question. She asked if this is what I really want to do. Joy brings up a great point. I’ve been trying to narrow down my niche for awhile. I’ve been flighty. That and my approach to it all has been haphazard at best. I do really want to do this. I must.

After the meeting with Joy I went to Francisco’s Cuban Cafe. My god their food is delicious. I need to go there more than once per month. I stayed in the dining area for a couple of hours staring out the window.

Afterwards, food in mom in hand, I went home. I was home early, but I had things to do.

Should I get a PhD in psychology to help me along with the ACE’s NGO?

3/16/2016: Goodnight Bobby D

by , on
Mar 17, 2016

We laid a friend to rest today. Bobby Driscoll, or as his friend called him Bobby D, passed away last Thursday. Today he was buried. This is the 2nd time we saw him in 3 months. The last time was a Sunday in December when we went to his benefit.

The service was beautiful. At the service and funeral there were a lot of big tough guys with bloodshot and watery eyes.  While it was just Fikret and I from Med City Taxi, the expansive church was nearly filled with friends, family and colleagues of Bobby’s. He was certainly a man with faults. But he was a good man who was fiercely loyal to his friends.

After the burial Fikret and I ate at Wild Bill’s Sports Saloon. We reminisced about our dear departed friend and co-worker. He touched many lives and will be missed. Goodnight, bud, we’ll see you again someday.

When we were done consuming lunch, Fikret dropped me off at Corporate Web Services (CWS) for the TEDxZumbroRiver marketing & social media meeting. We came up with a plan that’ll hopefully generate a bunch of ticket sales. The May 5th event is going to be incredible.

Around 5:30pm I had dinner with Kerk at Dooley’s. I was a little apprehensive since it was the first time in almost 2 years I’ve seen him. I admittedly get a little antsy when I saw him. Afterall, he’s been “busy” for all this time yet he’s been going out a bunch with his friends. I got a little annoyed when he said he needed some “Will time” and that we shouldn’t wait 6 months next time.I think I’ve become indifferent.

I finally watched last Sunday’s The Walking Dead. I love that show.

Learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone and Duolingo

by , on
Sep 10, 2015

I’m half Spanish. Ok, the actual percentage is lower because I’m an exciting blend of Cuban, Spaniard, Italian, Caribbean Indian, possible African American, Indonesian, Dutch, German, French and Japanese. Wow, that’s a mouthful. For simplicity I just say I’m half Dutch and half Cuban.

I’ve been telling my family I’m going to learn Spanish someday. However, that someday keeps on getting pushed back just like every other someday. For decades I told them I would learn how to speak Spanish. I even took Spanish in high school. But we all know how that turned out.

I’ve heard about Rosetta Stone for years. I’ve heard Rosetta Stone actually offers  comprehensive set of tools to aid in language learning. But the five level set had a steep price of $499 made it impossible to afford. But then the price was reduced to about $200 and I could have a payment plan. I  thought I’d be crazy not to buy the set.

A friend of mine used an online service called Duolingo to learn Italian. He tends to hold things to a high standard so when he kept on gushing how much he loved the experience I thought I’d give Duolingo a try as well.

Well I bought the 5 level Spanish set from Rosetta Stone MONTHS ago and never touched it. But after hearing a TED talk about how to learn any language in 6 months, I decided I needed to start learning today as well as be persistent with my language learning.

Do today I installed Rosetta Stone on my computer and will practice daily to master the Spanish language.

Wish me luck!

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